As Bernie Mayer points out in Chapter 7, of The Dynamics of Conflict Resolution, “…all negotiations have both distributive and integrative aspects. However, at any given time one of these dimensions tends to dominate the spirit of the discussions,” thereby reiterating the fact that timing is everything. Mayer explains, "To the extent that a negotiation is about gaining as much as possible of what is available it is distributive; alternatively, people can try to meet their needs through increasing what is available for all and making sure everyone’s needs are adequately addressed." This he describes as an integrative approach. Collaborative Law is represented to the consuming public as interest based negotiation; the possibilities of a “win-win” have long been held out as the carrot. It is a process grounded in collaboration, also known as the act of working together. I see its very essence as a patently integrative approach to negotiation. How clients measure and weigh their interests is the grist for their integrative mill. Collaborative law is what our four-ways and five-ways and even six ways are all about. Settlement by its very nature requires an integrated resolution that satisfies both parties’ interests. There will always be a distribution and a give and a take, but the distribution must be considered “fair” by each party. The problem I often encounter in Collaborative negotiations is that it relatively easy to measure and weigh distributed sums of cash from a finite “pie”, but it is not so easy to measure and weigh a distribution of non-monetary gives and takes from an integrated family system of blended monetary and emotional interests. Lawyers must be aware that it is a slippery slope and great care is required not to fall into old patterns. To get to the proverbial “yes”, each client will apply his or her own standards of fairness. It is a balancing act, which requires each person to be self-assured in the knowledge that his or her own needs are being met to a sufficient degree to allow a “yes” to an agreement which ostensibly also meets a “fair” number of the other spouse’s needs at the same time. Reassuring my client that we have put in a great amount of effort into understanding needs and interests and creating awareness and confidence for moving on is how we get these things done.